Friday, July 16, 2010

I Love My Spouse...But

Just a note to all those diabetics out there who are waiting for their spouses to take care them...
If I waited for my spouse to take care of me and manage all my dietary needs, count my carbs, remind me to test myself, or to take my insulin - I'd be in a pine box right now. The facts are, if you are diabetic, YOU have to be the most responsible for taking care of YOU. I mean - if you haven't become mentally or physically challenged. My spouse is great! I love her very much - but she'll go out and buy two cakes for a small dinner party, and I have to be the one that says to myself, "You can not go through that cake like a human buzz saw." and for the remainder of the days that the cake is in existence (talking to me) I must be the mature person and simply walk in the other direction. She'll offer to do dinner at Casa D's and order the garlic cheese bread, a heavy pasta dish, another loaf of bread when the 1st one is gone, dessert and coffee, then look at me when I only eat a minute part of the pasta dish, a portion of one slice of garlic cheese bread, and less then 1/2 of the dessert and say, "I guess you weren't hungry :-("
At that point, I usually remind her (after 10 years) - I'm trying to keep my carbs to less than 130 grams for one meal :-[  (they should be 180g per day)
You see, I had to realize that she is not going to - and neither should I expect her to, adjust her food intake to a lifestyle that is my burden. Regardless of how she decides to eat, I must still stick to the requirements that make good diabetic sense. Keeping myself healthy is primarily my responsibility. When we food shop together, I can pick the foods that are more diabetic friendly. If she food shops, she usually asks me for things that I like so she can be sure to purchase them. If I food shop, she lets me know what she may have a taste for and I make it a point to purchase those items. 
I also learned that my kids absolutely hate diet soda. It doesn't matter what sugar substitute is in it - they hate the taste. Do I think they're crazy, YES - but it's irrelevant. They don't have to drink it, I do.
I guess, I had to look at being diabetic as being part of some sort of secret society. No one, including my spouse knows I'm a member of this elite group because I blend in so well - almost eating the same things they eat, but just adjusting my portion sizes. Testing myself so quickly before and after meals that no one even notices (except other elite members ;-). Empowering myself with knowledge so I can tell when any non-members are doing things that cause me to be cautious. 
It's YOUR life, YOU take charge. I'm sure all your relationships will remain intact. :-)

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